I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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