I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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