every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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