I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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