These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
