then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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