did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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