Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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