Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
