I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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