I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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