Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
