Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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