help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
