Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
