So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
