Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
