the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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