Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Randomize
