I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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