i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize