I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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