is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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