She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
