hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
