Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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