how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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