i was born a porn star she said
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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