you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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