i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Even my vagina gasped.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
