he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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