sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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