this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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