my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
