He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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