There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
