you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
