if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I didn't shave. On purpose
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
That's when you crack a 10am beer
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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