He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
