i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
