This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The cops high fived after they tackled you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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