I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize