the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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