It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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