is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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