Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
