i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
