Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dear god my vagina.
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