Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
