Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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