I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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