The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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