so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
