I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
