There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
