I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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