Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
