I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
only if we run a train.
done.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
