There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
