I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
