Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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