bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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