Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
