What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
